An Important Conversation

Scene: A romantic dinner leads to a conversation of the utmost importance. This is the sort of intellectual fare that you are missing out on by not marrying me. Unless, of course, you did marry me. In which case, you sure are lucky.

Z: Would you kill a man for a million dollars?”

H: Absolutely not.

Z: Not for a million dollars? A million dollars.

H: No.

Z: Would you stab a guy you really didn’t like?

H: For money?”

Z: Obviously.

H: Then no.

Z: Howbout this: would you poke a hobo with a sharp stick for five hundred dollars?

H: Just poke?

Z: Well, you’d have to draw a little blood.1 But we’ll guarantee the hobo prompt medical treatment.

H: This is the most thinking you’ve done all day.

Z: What if the hobo was really sad? If, like, he expected a poke with a stick and it didn’t really bother him.

H: If you're the hobo. Otherwise no.

Z: Would you geek-slap a guy in a coma for ten bucks?

H: Make it twenty.

Z: Twenty?

H: Yeah.

Z: Done.

    • 1
    • Just a little
  1. The Demonist

    Tim buys a book. Tim accidentally summons a demon. Hilarity, carnage, ensue.

  2. A Last Minute Truth

    Old, embittered and depressed, Eustace decides to kill himself. Then he does something else.

  3. Taking Pictures of Cats Having Sex In Istanbul

    Wherein I travel to distant lands, try to get a nice souvenir and then engage in philosophical debate with policeman.

  4. Welcome Travelers, To Dublin

    We took this double-decker bus and maybe someone got murdered and then my mom didn't save my luggage from disaster.

  5. Alfreds For Breakfast

    Albert wants to get the man who proposed plate tectonics removed from highschool textbooks.

  6. Juney's Coming For A Visit

    George's daughter will be in town for Christmas, Alfred isn't as racist as he sounds and Javier's cousin is being deported.